Do something that scares you

I love going to college. I love every bit off it, well maybe not every bit! I also love going to Religion and Life every Friday that the institute hosts. This is basically where a speaker comes and speaks about life and the gospel of Jesus Christ, though honestly you don't have to be LDS to go to it.  This past semester a husband and wife spoke, they weren't well known or famous like some of the people that come to speak to us but what they said has changed my life.

As they introduced themselves they said "Today we are going to talk about ZOMBIES!"
And of course that took everyone by surprise because who in there right mind puts Zombies and Religion in the same category?  But they did and it worked. They related how sometimes in this life we go about just feeling bleh, life just continues on but it's boring and we aren't really living. This is a stage in your life when you are a Zombie, just going through the motions, our brains feel like they have turned to mush ( but hopefully we are not eating brains). Then they said "Do something that makes you pee your pants a little."
I don't know about you but that doesn't sound like much fun at all but then they continued with a quote that went something like this
"Do something that scares you because when you do something that scares you come alive and what the world needs is people who have come alive."
Now I am not talking about doing something that scares you like jumping of a cliff or doing something scary stupid but something that you have always wanted to do but it scares you, maybe that is talking in front of a large group off people or maybe it is opening up your own business but whatever it is do it. Don't spend your life as a zombie mindlessly doing the day to day tasks.
Then they asked us "What are three things that scare you?"
It really didn't take me too long to think of three things that I had always wanted to do but was to afraid of what might happen if I did.
Then they said "Now go and do them!"
Wait... what? They wanted me to go and do these things that terrified me?
It made me panic a little but then the little voice said in the back of my mind "Why not?"

So I got to thinking why not? The worst that could happen is that I would fail, though failure is hard for anyone to take it is part of life. And that is when I started thinking of all the things I had done because the choice I had wanted in the first place seemed impossible, like my major. I love history. I love it to my very core but when it comes to jobs there really isn't a lot out there except for teaching, so that is what I was doing. When people would ask me " So what are you going into?"
"History education" I would reply back " I am going to be a teacher."
I would always try to look super excited about it but really I wasn't. I had  just chosen teaching because it was the safe and more reliable way, I would actually have a job in history. But my heart wasn't really in it, so I decided to change. Now when people ask me what I am going into I just say History! Sometime people give me a look that seems to say "Oh honey don't you know that is a road to nowhere?"
But it doesn't matter because I am happy, I did something that made me come alive! Don't worry either because I have an idea of what I want to do after I have graduated from college.
Of course I am still  a little scared about the future and what it holds but who isn't? The future is an unstable thing, and no one has life figured out exactly right but I know that if I pray and listen to my Father in Heaven everything will work out in the end,  I just have to have a little faith and a lot of patience!

So the real question now is, What scares you and are you going do to anything about it, or just stay a zombie for the rest of your life?

"Stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight"

So guess what? I love the scriptures!!! I really really do! I have so many favorite stories but I think my favorite is the one about Gideon in the Old Testament. He had so much faith! I have been thinking about faith a lot lately. For Gideon he wasn't sure about a decision he was making, which was a pretty big decision so he prayed for God to help him to know that the decisions he was about to make was God's will and not his own and God answered him. Sometimes God answers prayers quickly, sometimes they take a while, and sometimes it takes a really long while and sometimes they don't come at all! I don't think how fast God answers our prayers has anything to do with how much faith we have, the story of Enos in the Book of Mormon shows us this. Enos prayed all night and all day for many different things one of these things was that the Lamanites might one day be able to read the Book of Mormon, and guess what Enos's prayer was answered but it took a couple of thousand years. I had an experience once were I prayed for something really hard, I begged my Heavenly Father for it, I don't know if I have ever prayed for something so hard. I knew I had the faith too and I felt like I had tried everything I could for Heavenly father to be able to bless me with it, but nothing happened. I couldn't help but think Is my Faith not great enough? I had been taught my entire life that if I had the faith of a mustard seed I could move mountains, was my faith not even as big as a mustard seed?

I started studying faith in the scriptures, I wanted to know how I could have more faith in Christ. I learned that Faith is having confidence in the Lord. I thought I had confidence in him but now I wasn't so sure. Then a miracle happened just when I was questioning if I even had any faith a wonderful inspired institute teacher taught me a lesson about faith. He told a story similar to what had happened to me and then he said something that I needed to hear at that moment " If God wants you to move that mountain you will move the mountain". And just like I learned that Faith is not talking God into doing my will but me figuring out what his will is and having a desire to do his will, having my will become the same as his.  Because really our will is the only thing that we can give to God that isn't something that is already his. Eventually my prayer was answered but I had to wait, and looking back at it now it really wasn't that long of a wait but in the moment it seemed like an eternity. This is why I love the scriptures, as I read the stories in them I see that the people who lived back then really are not that different then me, they struggled with the same things. Even though our worlds are completely different I can learn from their struggles and trials how to deal with my own. I am so very grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows me! 

Love Ashley 

Praying for A grades while trying for B's

There are so many times when I get down on my knees and pray for something that I really need help with or that I want to happen in my life, and then I get up and do absolutely nothing.Today in Church one of the speakers talked about how we can't pray for A grades when we are only studying hard enough to earn B's. The Lord can't help us remember the things we have been studying and working so hard for if we aren't willing to even try to do the work required. Sometimes when we try we fall short but at least we can say that we tried and the Lord is more willing to help us when we try. Every time I think of this principle I remember a story about how two men handled a similar situation. Once upon a time there were two men who were both going on long journeys in their cars and both of their cars broke down on the side of the road. They both prayed that somehow they would be able to continue their journeys. After his prayer one man sat in his car and waited for something to happen, nothing happened. The other man prayed and then got out of the car looked under the hood to see if there was anything he could do and then he trekked a couple of miles into to town and was able to find someone who could fix his car and he was able to continue his journey. To this story some people will say God didn't help that man he helped himself. God was with that man every step of the way. God helped him to know what to do for him to be able to continue on his journey, he acted on faith. Sometimes I am like the first man who prayed for help and guidance to know what to do but then just sat there waiting for the answer to come. I pray to know what to do with my life, where I should go to college, what career I should have, who I should date and then I just sit there and wait for God to tell me exactly what to do but it doesn't work that way. Sometimes with big decisions in life you have to take a step in the dark and hope and pray that it is the right thing to do. Heavenly Father will always let you know if it is the wrong decision or path to choose. 

We just have to have FAITH in him that all things will work out. "Faith is a principle of action and of Power" B.D., 670.

Through our actions we show that we have faith in him. So if I really wanted that A grade and I had prayed for it, I would show my faith in him by acting upon  it and praying for help to be able to study and remember the things I needed so that I would be able to do well in that class. 

One of my favorite scriptures at the moment is in the Book of Mormon Ether 12:6 " And now I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith."

Faith is something that will be tested everyday, regardless of what it is of. I know that if I have confidence in my Heavenly Father each and everyday that I live that everything will be alright and everything will work out in the end, even when it seems as if I am in the bleakest of storms and there is no way out I know that as long as I rely on him that it will all work out!

The Martin Harris Pageant, The man who knew.

This week I got to go with some friends to The Martin Harris Pageant.  I have been before but it was a really long time ago and I couldn't  remember all that much. I loved it, it was just the simple amazing story of a man named Martin Harris. My favorite song in the pageant was the closing song, it started "Of this I testify, this is the Lords work, I know it's true." If you want to listen to it here is a link to it on YouTube. So for the past couple of days I keep thinking about  Brother Martin Harris and how though out his life he may have gone down different paths then many people who belonged to the church back then he never ever denied that he new that it was true  for he had a personal witness of it. I hope that throughout my life whatever happens that I will be able to do the same, for I know it's true!

Loving the ups and the downs

Today in church we had a lesson on trials. Trials, one of my least favorite words in the dictionary, but the truth is everybody has them, churchgoers, non-churchgoers, old people, young people, people in Australia,  people in America, people who speak German and people who speak Swahili . It doesn't matter who you are or where you are or what you do, you will eventually have trials in your life. Is this a bad thing? In my own opinion no, I mean can you imagine a life where everything was hunky dory and perfect nothing ever went wrong? It would be like living in one of those freaky black and white happy valley fifties themed movies. So what I guess I am saying is that I am grateful for the hard times, the good times ,and the times that are just in between. Life is like traveling down a long road, it may not be straight and flat but we all know that somewhere the future is a little bit brighter. It's all about perspective. We have a quote hanging in our kitchen that I love when thinking about trials
 " HOPE is the ability to hear the music of the future, FAITH is the courage to dance to it today."

No matter where I am in life or what I am going through all I have to remember is as President Monson says is "the future is as bright as my faith" Wherever I am I hope I will always have the hope faith and courage to dance to the music of my future today.

The most important thing to remember though is that whatever you are going through that Christ will always be there for you, all you have to do is ask!
Love Ashley

What I miss the most about holidays

I have recently discovered that I have become sort of a Scrooge of all holidays. What has happened to me? I used to love holidays celebration. I pondered this and I pondered this until my sister brought up that she feels the same way about holidays. She then went on to explain she just hates how commercialized everything is when it's holiday time. And you know what I completely agree with her! Maybe holidays have always been this commercialized and growing up just made me realize it more or maybe as the years go on the more technology we get there are just more ways to commercialize them either way it puts me in a sour mood. This is my wish for my Fourth of July celebration. I want to wake up crazy early and go to a quaint little park in a quaint little town where they are having a little bike race, and then after the bike race (FYI I win the bike race in this day dream) we all settle down at the park pavilion and eat a good old fashioned American breakfast, preferably pancakes. Then we don't have to do anything, sure there will be other things going on at the park like coloring contests for the kids, and we can't forget about the cute little children s parade where they push around wagons all decked out with American flags. Oh and later in the day there may be a contest to see who can catch the greased pig and if you catch it you get to keep it. As for me I will be sitting and talking with my family with no other care in the world. That is my ideal Fourth of July celebration, I don't even need the fireworks. Maybe even my ideal day is a little to commercialized or seems a little to perfect but really that is how I had it growing up, it was simple. We didn't have to have anything big and fancy. That I guess is really what I miss about holidays, I miss the simpleness of them. Now I feel bombarded with all of these flashing signs saying FOURTH OF JULY SALE, Buy this today only and get the best deal of your life!!!!!! I am sure that is not true, it will probably be cheaper in a week when the stores are trying to get rid of the rest of whatever they are selling. Maybe right now though I will go take out a box of poppers and try to get some of my holiday spirit back because I really used to love holidays and I miss loving them.

I've been working on the Railroad just to pass my day away.....

Okay so I really haven't been working on the railroad....but that does sound like an interesting idea....me.....metal...railroad ties....a big hammer.....railroad spikes.......in rain, snow or sun........maybe I should try it sometime! I have been working super duper hard at a job cleaning lots and lots and lots of bathrooms!!!!! I know what you're thinking right now AHHHHHHH bathrooms run!!! Okay so that has been my exact thoughts while cleaning some of them but most of them are not that bad because they were supposed to at least wiped down by the occupants of the rooms before they left but of course some people decided not to do that and that is when I want to run out of that bathroom screaming at the top of my lungs and never ever return to work ever ever again!!!! I have come to realize that with  a cleaning job like the one I have you really have to like the people you work with to survive! Which I do! The girls I work with are pretty awesome and they never fail to make me laugh even when I feel like running away from those ucky bathrooms and hiding in my bed under a blanket and never coming out again.Work has been my summer so far. There have been up days and there have been down days and there have been lots of days when I come home take a shower to get all the bathroom cleaner gunk off of me and fall right into bed and sleep and sleep and sleep! I really need to stop doing that and be more social. I need to make more friends be with people not just working and sleeping all the time....even though sleeping is so nice!!! In fact I think I am going to go sleep right now!!! I love Sleeping and working on my imaginary railroad of course!!!! Yes I know I have a very over active imagination but I just can't help it. Anyways I love all of you wonderful people that actually read my blog and even if you only read parts of it or just the last line your pretty awesome too. Hmmmm you know what sounds good right now CHOCOLATE!!! But I probably shouldn't eat any right now so would you all please go and eat a piece for me!!!
LOVE You ALL
WE Can do hard things
Even if it is cleaning gross bathrooms for eight hours everyday!!!
Who knows maybe I will make a new friend while cleaning a bathroom!
I don't know how but anything is possible right?
Okay I really need sleep
LOVE Ashley :)