Hi....

Hello my name is Ashley........and this is a blog post all about confessions or truthisms....if that even makes any sense :)

                                     I am a college student who is a little to obsessed with History

I am also overly obsessed with chocolate and reading.

You know how some people are obsessed with famous people

well I am obsessed with authors. I could walk past Tom Cruise on

the street and have absolutely no clue who he was but if I saw Shannon

Hale or Rick Riordan I would probably freak out and ask them to sign my books!

I like to make up stories in my head or write them down during classes when 

I should really be taking notes. 

I also really like taking pictures, but I am not a photographer :)

I like to go on little adventures, which usually are silly like "Let's find out where this hallway in the library leads" or "How many statues does campus really have?"

I also have really amazing friends who help me out a lot, even if they don't realize it.

                                                                  I love My Family!

I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ

I know he lives and loves each of us , even in my moments of sadness I know he hears me and answers prayers! Sometimes it feels like he is not really there but our Heavenly Father is always there, he never forgets us.

I am a child of God

It was a wintry day, a beautiful wintry day. I was done with classes for the day and didn't know what to do. So I decided to go on an adventure. I don't have a car so I caught a bus. When I went to change buses a lady asked me to help her carry her groceries onto the bus I was getting on, so I did. I set her stuff down by her and then asked what stop she was getting off at but sadly it wasn't the same one as me. She said not to worry though because her husband was going to meet her at the bus stop to help her carry there groceries back home. As I sat there waiting for the bus to start this lady then told me how she would carry her stuff if her husband wasn't there. She would get her stuff of the bus in two trips then she would set on load in the snow and then carry the rest of the stuff about fifteen feet then set if down and go back and grab the other load repeating the process until she got to her home.
"How far from the bus stop do you live?" I asked her

"Oh about a mile." She tells me " but usually some teenager gets off the bus with me and they always are nice enough to help me, and they never take off with the stuff."

Inside I was reeling, she lived a whole mile from the bus stop. Most of the bus stops in Logan are on busier roads. I began to wonder to myself if I saw this lady on the side of the road setting down one load of groceries and then going back to get another set over and over again would I stop to help her? How many times had she had to carry groceries like that? She didn't really seem to mind, it didn't seem to bother her at all and I guess it shouldn't. But it just stuck in my mind. I wondered how many people had passed her trekking that mile home loaded down with groceries and didn't even think a second thought about her?

Our conversation faded and I looked at the her truly looked at her, she looked worn out and tired but one thought stuck in my mind She is a child of God! She is a child of our Heavenly Father just like me, and Heavenly Father loves her dearly!
Then I started to look around at everyone else on the bus, some people were younger then me some people older then me, some haggard, some all dressed up but this same thought came to my mind They are all children of God! Who loves them! Do they know that?
This thought stuck with me as I said goodbye to the Lady on the bus. She thanked me for helping with her groceries but I wish I had done more then just carry them on the bus.

Suddenly as I walked around going places and doing things I saw people just a little bit differently. I have always known that we are all children of God but this time it was different. I saw someone who looked a little bit scary all decked out in black and sunken in eyes but this time instead of being scared of them I couldn't help but think You are a child of God too! Do you know that? Do you know how much he loves you? It was a little silly but I couldn't help but wonder if they knew how much they were loved? Sometimes we tend to forget when we are in our deepest sorrows.

I really don't know what it was but suddenly as I ran my errands people began to talk to me, and not just the usual "Hey how are you doing?" and then walk away kind of talk. Maybe it is because I actually looked interested in what they are saying, because I was seeing people differently this day.

One women told me " I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, my doctor says people tend to get it after they are 55 but I am not even 55 yet, but life is still good."

Another little old man told me that he was so excited to watch the Olympics but he was sure there was going to be a terrorist attack. His wife told him he needed to think positive. Then he added that I shouldn't go sledding down Old Main hill because I would probably hit a tree. His wife again said to be positive. I don't know why but it made me laugh, this little old couple. One was a worry wart and the other was a go with the flow kind of person.

I asked a lady at the store if she liked her job. She said she did and then told me it had great insurance. Her daughter had been a preemie and her insurance had paid for all the medical bills. Her daughter is nine now, almost in the double digits. Just at the mention of her daughter her face lit up. It is crazy that you can tell how much someone loves and adores another person just from an expression.

I know none of these things are extraordinary, not even what people talked to me about, and maybe they are even a little silly, but simple things always turn out to be great things. I know I should listen to people everyday of my life but I don't, I know everyone is a child of God, but sometimes I don't look at them like they are, which is wrong. God loves us all so much. I know not everyone believes that, remembers, or knows it but that doesn't change the facet the he does. So I wonder to myself: Would I stop to help the lady with her groceries on a snowy day even if it made me late to where I was going?

Do something that scares you

I love going to college. I love every bit off it, well maybe not every bit! I also love going to Religion and Life every Friday that the institute hosts. This is basically where a speaker comes and speaks about life and the gospel of Jesus Christ, though honestly you don't have to be LDS to go to it.  This past semester a husband and wife spoke, they weren't well known or famous like some of the people that come to speak to us but what they said has changed my life.

As they introduced themselves they said "Today we are going to talk about ZOMBIES!"
And of course that took everyone by surprise because who in there right mind puts Zombies and Religion in the same category?  But they did and it worked. They related how sometimes in this life we go about just feeling bleh, life just continues on but it's boring and we aren't really living. This is a stage in your life when you are a Zombie, just going through the motions, our brains feel like they have turned to mush ( but hopefully we are not eating brains). Then they said "Do something that makes you pee your pants a little."
I don't know about you but that doesn't sound like much fun at all but then they continued with a quote that went something like this
"Do something that scares you because when you do something that scares you come alive and what the world needs is people who have come alive."
Now I am not talking about doing something that scares you like jumping of a cliff or doing something scary stupid but something that you have always wanted to do but it scares you, maybe that is talking in front of a large group off people or maybe it is opening up your own business but whatever it is do it. Don't spend your life as a zombie mindlessly doing the day to day tasks.
Then they asked us "What are three things that scare you?"
It really didn't take me too long to think of three things that I had always wanted to do but was to afraid of what might happen if I did.
Then they said "Now go and do them!"
Wait... what? They wanted me to go and do these things that terrified me?
It made me panic a little but then the little voice said in the back of my mind "Why not?"

So I got to thinking why not? The worst that could happen is that I would fail, though failure is hard for anyone to take it is part of life. And that is when I started thinking of all the things I had done because the choice I had wanted in the first place seemed impossible, like my major. I love history. I love it to my very core but when it comes to jobs there really isn't a lot out there except for teaching, so that is what I was doing. When people would ask me " So what are you going into?"
"History education" I would reply back " I am going to be a teacher."
I would always try to look super excited about it but really I wasn't. I had  just chosen teaching because it was the safe and more reliable way, I would actually have a job in history. But my heart wasn't really in it, so I decided to change. Now when people ask me what I am going into I just say History! Sometime people give me a look that seems to say "Oh honey don't you know that is a road to nowhere?"
But it doesn't matter because I am happy, I did something that made me come alive! Don't worry either because I have an idea of what I want to do after I have graduated from college.
Of course I am still  a little scared about the future and what it holds but who isn't? The future is an unstable thing, and no one has life figured out exactly right but I know that if I pray and listen to my Father in Heaven everything will work out in the end,  I just have to have a little faith and a lot of patience!

So the real question now is, What scares you and are you going do to anything about it, or just stay a zombie for the rest of your life?

"Stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight"

So guess what? I love the scriptures!!! I really really do! I have so many favorite stories but I think my favorite is the one about Gideon in the Old Testament. He had so much faith! I have been thinking about faith a lot lately. For Gideon he wasn't sure about a decision he was making, which was a pretty big decision so he prayed for God to help him to know that the decisions he was about to make was God's will and not his own and God answered him. Sometimes God answers prayers quickly, sometimes they take a while, and sometimes it takes a really long while and sometimes they don't come at all! I don't think how fast God answers our prayers has anything to do with how much faith we have, the story of Enos in the Book of Mormon shows us this. Enos prayed all night and all day for many different things one of these things was that the Lamanites might one day be able to read the Book of Mormon, and guess what Enos's prayer was answered but it took a couple of thousand years. I had an experience once were I prayed for something really hard, I begged my Heavenly Father for it, I don't know if I have ever prayed for something so hard. I knew I had the faith too and I felt like I had tried everything I could for Heavenly father to be able to bless me with it, but nothing happened. I couldn't help but think Is my Faith not great enough? I had been taught my entire life that if I had the faith of a mustard seed I could move mountains, was my faith not even as big as a mustard seed?

I started studying faith in the scriptures, I wanted to know how I could have more faith in Christ. I learned that Faith is having confidence in the Lord. I thought I had confidence in him but now I wasn't so sure. Then a miracle happened just when I was questioning if I even had any faith a wonderful inspired institute teacher taught me a lesson about faith. He told a story similar to what had happened to me and then he said something that I needed to hear at that moment " If God wants you to move that mountain you will move the mountain". And just like I learned that Faith is not talking God into doing my will but me figuring out what his will is and having a desire to do his will, having my will become the same as his.  Because really our will is the only thing that we can give to God that isn't something that is already his. Eventually my prayer was answered but I had to wait, and looking back at it now it really wasn't that long of a wait but in the moment it seemed like an eternity. This is why I love the scriptures, as I read the stories in them I see that the people who lived back then really are not that different then me, they struggled with the same things. Even though our worlds are completely different I can learn from their struggles and trials how to deal with my own. I am so very grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows me! 

Love Ashley 

Praying for A grades while trying for B's

There are so many times when I get down on my knees and pray for something that I really need help with or that I want to happen in my life, and then I get up and do absolutely nothing.Today in Church one of the speakers talked about how we can't pray for A grades when we are only studying hard enough to earn B's. The Lord can't help us remember the things we have been studying and working so hard for if we aren't willing to even try to do the work required. Sometimes when we try we fall short but at least we can say that we tried and the Lord is more willing to help us when we try. Every time I think of this principle I remember a story about how two men handled a similar situation. Once upon a time there were two men who were both going on long journeys in their cars and both of their cars broke down on the side of the road. They both prayed that somehow they would be able to continue their journeys. After his prayer one man sat in his car and waited for something to happen, nothing happened. The other man prayed and then got out of the car looked under the hood to see if there was anything he could do and then he trekked a couple of miles into to town and was able to find someone who could fix his car and he was able to continue his journey. To this story some people will say God didn't help that man he helped himself. God was with that man every step of the way. God helped him to know what to do for him to be able to continue on his journey, he acted on faith. Sometimes I am like the first man who prayed for help and guidance to know what to do but then just sat there waiting for the answer to come. I pray to know what to do with my life, where I should go to college, what career I should have, who I should date and then I just sit there and wait for God to tell me exactly what to do but it doesn't work that way. Sometimes with big decisions in life you have to take a step in the dark and hope and pray that it is the right thing to do. Heavenly Father will always let you know if it is the wrong decision or path to choose. 

We just have to have FAITH in him that all things will work out. "Faith is a principle of action and of Power" B.D., 670.

Through our actions we show that we have faith in him. So if I really wanted that A grade and I had prayed for it, I would show my faith in him by acting upon  it and praying for help to be able to study and remember the things I needed so that I would be able to do well in that class. 

One of my favorite scriptures at the moment is in the Book of Mormon Ether 12:6 " And now I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith."

Faith is something that will be tested everyday, regardless of what it is of. I know that if I have confidence in my Heavenly Father each and everyday that I live that everything will be alright and everything will work out in the end, even when it seems as if I am in the bleakest of storms and there is no way out I know that as long as I rely on him that it will all work out!

The Martin Harris Pageant, The man who knew.

This week I got to go with some friends to The Martin Harris Pageant.  I have been before but it was a really long time ago and I couldn't  remember all that much. I loved it, it was just the simple amazing story of a man named Martin Harris. My favorite song in the pageant was the closing song, it started "Of this I testify, this is the Lords work, I know it's true." If you want to listen to it here is a link to it on YouTube. So for the past couple of days I keep thinking about  Brother Martin Harris and how though out his life he may have gone down different paths then many people who belonged to the church back then he never ever denied that he new that it was true  for he had a personal witness of it. I hope that throughout my life whatever happens that I will be able to do the same, for I know it's true!

Loving the ups and the downs

Today in church we had a lesson on trials. Trials, one of my least favorite words in the dictionary, but the truth is everybody has them, churchgoers, non-churchgoers, old people, young people, people in Australia,  people in America, people who speak German and people who speak Swahili . It doesn't matter who you are or where you are or what you do, you will eventually have trials in your life. Is this a bad thing? In my own opinion no, I mean can you imagine a life where everything was hunky dory and perfect nothing ever went wrong? It would be like living in one of those freaky black and white happy valley fifties themed movies. So what I guess I am saying is that I am grateful for the hard times, the good times ,and the times that are just in between. Life is like traveling down a long road, it may not be straight and flat but we all know that somewhere the future is a little bit brighter. It's all about perspective. We have a quote hanging in our kitchen that I love when thinking about trials
 " HOPE is the ability to hear the music of the future, FAITH is the courage to dance to it today."

No matter where I am in life or what I am going through all I have to remember is as President Monson says is "the future is as bright as my faith" Wherever I am I hope I will always have the hope faith and courage to dance to the music of my future today.

The most important thing to remember though is that whatever you are going through that Christ will always be there for you, all you have to do is ask!
Love Ashley