Am I NUTS???

I just did something crazy! Maybe it was a dumb thing to do, maybe the other person in this story is just taking advantage of people's good hearts....but even if that is the case I'm glad I did it.

I have been carrying a copy of The Book of Mormon with me for like two whole years. Pretty much wherever I go this Book of Mormon has gone with me. I was supposed to give it away to someone else but I never felt like I should do that until today. This copy of The Book of Mormon means a lot to me. We've been through some pretty rough times together. But that's another story that you could check out by clicking HERE. Anyways onto the something NUTS that I did:

Really today is just a normal day. I didn't go anywhere out of the ordinary, to the garbage dump ( so that one is a little out of the ordinary), the Library ( I could probably live there.), the gas station. See so totally ordinary places to go well maybe not the garbage dump....anyways....

The Gas station was extremely busy today, all of the pumps were full so I had to circle back around. And that's when I noticed the guy with his dog holding  a sign that asked people for help. Every time I see people asking for help it makes me sad....which is probably a normal reaction.

So what was I to do? I awkwardly filled up my car with gas trying to ignore my conscious ( Yes I know I'm a bad person)... after all how many times had I been told not to give money to strangers? How many times had I been told that people like that could be dangerous? Too many to count.

But what could I do? I couldn't just get in my comfy car and drive away my conscience wouldn't let me. So I went inside the gas station and grabbed some Gatorade and some white cheddar popcorn. ( Yes I did just write popcorn.....it was fancy popcorn and it looked delicious.)

As I stood in the gas station wondering if I should really give something to him... I thought about that Book of Mormon in my purse and for the first time in two whole years I felt like someone else needed it more than me. So I bought the Gatorade and the yummy looking popcorn and I did what any sane person would do. I marched over to him and started a conversation.

Was it awkward? YES! Yes it was very awkward...probably for both of us, but at least the dog was nice :). I sheepishly gave him the Gatorade and the popcorn and then apologized for getting him popcorn.....

After about a minute of conversation. I pulled out my Book of Mormon and I gave it to him.

Honestly I don't know if any good will come because I gave a random person a Book of Mormon. That book that I loved and carried with me for so long might end up in the trash... I really hope it doesn't though.

Maybe this story doesn't seem so crazy to you but it does to me. And even if it was nuts of me to do....I don't regret it!

How to be happy on Valentines Day

Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday. That's right I did just write what you think I wrote but just in case you don't believe me I'll write it once more: Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday. I mean what other day of the year can I eat as many pink frosted sugar cookies as I want?

Do you remember being little and working on your Valentine's Day bag/box for school. I loved making them. I loved cutting out paper hearts. I loved getting Valentine's from classmate's. Though teachers should not be allowed to give little toothbrushes as Valentine's day gifts ( Am I the only one that ever happened too?)

And then suddenly you graduate from elementary school and everything changes! Valentine's Day becomes something to dread and not to love. Girls expectantly wait for that special someone to buy/give them roses, chocolate, or a fancy dinner. Suddenly instead of a fun day for everyone to exchange cheesy Valentine's day cards it becomes Singles Awareness Day.

According to legend St. Valentine was martyred for secretly performing marriage ceremonies and for helping Christians. I think so many people get hung up on that first part and make Valentine's Day all about the romantic kind of love but they forget that isn't all that St. Valentine died for. He also was killed for protecting other Christians, which apparently was illegal at that time. So why did he do it why did he put his own life at risk for others.... because he loved them.

Now I really don't know if any of that really happened. Maybe St. Valentine's story got jumbled with others. But his tale has story truth :).  So for me Valentine's Day isn't just about the romantic kind of love but just love in general.

So to all of you people who moan and groan about Valentine's Day I say change your perspective.
-Write corny jokes on paper hearts and heart attack someone's door.
-Give Valentine's to random strangers (Trust me it's really fun)
-Send a card to your parents/a good friend/ someone you haven't seen in a while and tell them how awesome they are!
-And for goodness sakes make some sugar cookies and glob all the pink frosting you can on them :)


Happy Valentine's Day!!
I love you all!

Love Ashley

The Book that was just for me.

Most of you who read this blog know that I'm a Mormon. If you didn't know...well surprise I'm a Mormon. Which probably isn't that surprising. This past Sunday I was asked to team teach a lesson on the Book of Mormon, at the last minute. One thing that people may not know about me is that I actually love teaching, which may surprise some people. I love teaching lessons on Sunday because I learn so much as I prepare to teach and it's always amazing to see how the Holy Ghost moves the lesson to what people in the class need to hear or learn. That's why I like teaching. I don't really like standing up in front of people and having so many sets of eyes staring at me.

I got to teach the last portion of the lesson.  It was based off of an Ensign article for the month of January "The Converting Power of the Book of Mormon." by Kevin S. Hamilton. Right before the lesson started I felt like I should show two Book of Mormon's that I had with me. One I had brought specifically for the lesson the other I usually have with me wherever I go.

A couple of years ago I was given a paperback copy of The Book Of Mormon, told to write my testimony in it and give it away to someone. So I did...well I wrote my testimony in it but I still haven't given it away. For the most part wherever I have gone in the past couple of years this copy of The Book of Mormon has gone with me. To school, to another country, to work. It's been with me pretty much everywhere, but I never felt like I should give it away, I always felt like I needed it. Which seems silly because I have a copy of the Book of Mormon on my phone, which goes with me pretty much everywhere as well.


So I showed the class these two Book of Mormons. They looked different on the outside but on the inside they both taught the same thing. After the lesson one of the Relief Society Sisters (The women's organization in my church) came up to me and said " You know I just got the feeling that the reason you haven't given that book away is because it was meant for you. You needed it."

This lady couldn't have known how many times that exact same thought had come into my mind. She couldn't have known how crazy the past couple of years had been for me. She couldn't have known that throughout the time that I had carried that book that I had begun to doubt the existence of a God.
She couldn't have known any of these things but she had felt that the reason I had never given that Book of Mormon away was because I needed it. Isn't that amazing?

God is truly omniscient. He knows everything. He cared enough about me to have me carry a book around that testified of Him and his Son, even at a time when I wasn't sure if anything I had ever learned about God was true. It was a book meant just for me.  Maybe to some of you this seems silly and not amazing at all, but to me it showed me that God truly loves and cares about me and that he never truly left me. And I know that wherever you are in life God feels the same way about you. He loves you and he wants you to make it back home to Him!

"Believe You Can and You're Halfway There" Theodore Roosevelt

As I was sitting in Sacrament meeting today I was thinking about life and about things.  I thought to myself  I can't do lots of things because I don't have a loud enough speaking voice... as soon as I thought this another thought popped into my head Who are you to tell yourself  that you can't do something because you believe you aren't good at it. With God all things are possible. Nothing is impossible. Don't you believe that? 

Of course I believe that. How many times have I written that exact phrase down to remind myself that nothing is truly impossible...way to many to count. Then why do I still tell myself I can't do things...why do you still convince yourself you can't do things because of a "weakness" that you have?

" ...For if they humble themselves before me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." Ether 12;27

I'm not the loudest person ever. Sometimes when I speak I have to repeat myself so people can hear me, which drives me bonkers. Because I'm a quiet person, people often assume I'm shy...which also drives me bonkers, because I'm not. Despite this I can still do anything with God's help. Nothing is impossible.


So whatever you feel like you can't do because you aren't good at something put your trust in God and leap. You may stumble and fall but eventually you will get there because with God nothing is truly impossible!

On dreams and things

LIVE YOUR DREAMS!

I have heard that advice given by so many people on YouTube lately....and just generally everywhere really. Though I am rather addicted to YouTube..... I really should work on that addiction, I could be doing lots of other good things with all the time I waste watching silly videos.. anyways  I think living your dream (or doing what you love) is something people generally want in life. 

I always wanted to be a writer, even though I despise commas, and I have a habit for run-on sentences. I somehow formed a habit of always creating a story in my head, sometimes those stories would make it onto paper and other times they would stay firmly on a book shelf in my imagination.

The thought of actually publishing a book seemed far too daunting of a task for me. I couldn't even finish writing a book. And then one day I made a goal ( those things really do work, who knew). I had finally decided that I was going to finish a book and the craziest thing happened, I actually finished it. I wrote an entire novel, thousands upon thousands of words long. Who knew I had it in me.  So I thought my work was done.....nope.

This is when I learned that writing a book is the easy part..... then comes EDITING!!! DUN DUN DUN! Yep, that's right people I had to go back and fix all of my beautiful run-on sentences and insert commas here and there and then sometimes change entire chapters, but honestly it was actually fun. Somewhere along the journey I had become friends with the characters I had imagined.  Which seems very weird to me but then again I have fallen in love with characters from other books, like who wouldn't want Harry Potter for their best friend? 

Part of editing was letting other people read it. Up to this point in my life I hadn't really shared anything I had written unless it was for a class or blog spots. Sharing my book was terrifying, I had spent a very good portion of my life on it and I wanted people to love it as much as I did.  It was downright scary but it helped a lot. My story is most certainly better now than it was before.

And then I did the scariest thing of all.....I sent it out to literary agents. I am now the proud owner of a couple of rejection letters and one very exciting letter from an agent wanting to read my book. Rejection hurts, but at the same time it makes success so much more rewarding.  I couldn't keep my excitement in when that agent asked for my entire manuscript.

And now all I have to do is wait, which may be the hardest thing of all.  I don't know what will happen, maybe this agent will love my book or utterly despise it, who knows. The one thing I do know is that I am chasing after my dreams and that's exhilarating. Maybe one day I will actually catch up to this dream.

Am I done after writing one book? No way Jose! What's that phrase... "After one rain drop comes the storm."... hmm I don't think that's quite right but you get the point... right?   Maybe it's "One rain drop starts the flood".... yikes I don't think either of those are real sayings....Maybe I could start a trend?  Oh goodness! 

I love writing and creating new worlds... I always have and I think I always will. Now all I need to learn is how to stop my imagination from running wild all the time. Those poor imaginary dragons need a break ;)

Things that terrify me!

* I started writing this blog post almost a year ago, and I have decided to finish to celebrate it being an entire year since I left for Switzerland. Crazy! Where does time go?


Hey so lately I have been doing things that scare me!!!! I wrote a whole blog post why, if you want to read it you can click here. Any who one of the things that really made me want to throw up every time I thought about it was leaving the United States and experiencing somewhere else. I had always always always always wanted to do this but I was to scared to even try. Well I finally did it! It began almost a two years ago when my friend mentioned a study  abroad program to me. It sounded cool but I didn't think I would ever actually go but then I started doing things that scared me and I thought Hey why not? So without letting myself think about it too much I applied for the study abroad program and paid the application fee...which was a couple hundred dollars....and non-refundable. Lets just say I felt pretty sick after I paid that fee. It seemed like a huge gamble to me especially if I didn't even get into the program but it was too late to get it back so life went on. Then I got into the program and I had to pay a lot more money....yep...talk about major anxiety.BUT it was so worth it! It really never felt like I was actually going to leave for the trip and suddenly it was there and then I was in Switzerland!!! Cow bells ringing in my ears, gigantic bees and some pretty spectacular views. I don't think I could ever write it all down, everything that I experienced and learned. It was amazing. It is funny how sometimes you have to go so faraway to realize things about yourself that really you knew all along but you just didn't see.  Since I could never ever tell you everything about my Swiss trip I think a few stories would be fun to write down.

The Jules Verne Restaurant! How cool!

Gimmelwald

Lake Geneva

It is never a good idea to slide into a door.

The moment the airplane landed in Geneva it was a totally different world. It wasn't a very big airport. I waited behind everyone to get money out of the ATM machine and when it came out it was weird to see how colorful it was. It wasn't long before we were on a train heading to Aigle ( which I am probably still pronouncing wrong.) I was so tired from the plane ride that I felt like I could drop anywhere and fall asleep but as soon as that train came out of the tunnel my face was glued to the window. We passed big estates right along Lake Geneva, town after town after town we went through, I couldn't even tell you all of their names. The one thing that surprised me was the Graffiti, it was mostly closer to the train stations and it was odd to me that they would graffiti English words like SALAD on a building. I couldn't help but laugh wondering if there was some sort of gang in Switzerland called Salad. Probably not but hey it kept me awake.

Lots of times I couldn't speak with people because they didn't know much English and I didn't know ANY French, or German, or Italian other than hello and thank you. So when I would go into shops to buy food lots of times I would just point. One Day I went to this pastry shop in Soloturn. I just used my pointing method but I should have looked more carefully at what the shop attendant actually put inside the bag. I went back outside and sat on a bench just outside the city with a friend. The birds there are so annoying! They sit there and stare at you inching closer and closer until finally you share some of your bread with them because you feel so bad for eating in front of them. Well my friend hated them! She would glare and stomp at them until they would finally go away. I was laughing at this when I reached into my pastry bag and instead of finding what I had thought would be there it was something else. It turned out to be a delicious mistake, and that pastry became my favorite one of the entire trip.

The delicious pastry I still have no name for

Also in Soloturn we visited a hermitage. It was one of the most peaceful places I have ever visited. It was like this little piece of wilderness tucked into a city. It was fun to imagine what is was like hundreds of years ago to be a hermit, who know if it was even around hundreds of years ago.

This was next to the Hermitage Chapel

One of my favorite tours that we went through, was the Cailler Chocolate Factory. It really felt as if we were going on a Disneyland ride that told us all about the history of chocolate. It was amazing! That best part was at the end, the very last room is filled with chocolate and the best part is you get to try all of it! Talk about a chocolate lover's dream come true. 

CHOCOLATE!

The hands down best part of Switzerland though was all of the amazing people I met! 

Motes and Beams

I love going to church! It's an amazing place where you can feel of the Saviors love and learn about the gospel. It's a wonderful place to be, but sometimes I wish people were more real. Let's just all admit it right here and right now, we put on this grand show to make people believe that everything is alright. We don't want to be judged or considered weak or have people think we are crazy.

But then it gets worse because we go to church and it seems like everyone else around us is perfectly okay. And then you start to feel like a complete failure again! See, most human beings have this problem with vulnerability. We don't want others to know how vulnerable we are, but being vulnerable isn't a bad thing.

I didn't learn that until I started bawling in front of one-hundred people. There was literally about one hundred people watching me sob. And my nose kept running and I didn't have enough tissues. It was not fun and after I had finally stopped crying, which took the better part of an hour, everyone kept coming up to me and giving me hugs. If you want hugs just start crying in front of a bunch of Mormons and they will magically appear ;).  But after this happened I was so ashamed of myself. I wished I could take back that moment but I couldn't. I was so afraid of what people would think of me. I was so afraid that they would all stop talking to me. See how Satan puts those little lies into your head. He wants us to be miserable and keep everything inside, and let people think that you are perfectly fine when you're not.

I learned a very important lesson that day, God doesn't want us to go through things alone, if he did there would only be one human living on the earth at a time. We are meant to help each other.

So back to that horrible time when I couldn't stop crying, it turned out exactly opposite of what I thought would happen. People didn't stop talking to me because I was a big crybaby, instead they just loved me for me. And that helped a TON! Because lets face it we all want to be accepted.

I have heard it said that Church isn't for the healthy it is for the sick. We all make mistakes, we all struggle, and sometimes we have a hard time having the faith that we need.

We all have motes and beams in our eyes (Matthew 7:3), but that doesn't mean we can't help each other.